How to Write So Your HOA Leaders Will Listen

A “community” is a group of people who listen to each other. Sometimes the important thing is a little thing. Anyone can call themselves a community. To really be one, that title must be “earned.” If leaders or activists expect to be heard but ignore or deflect the relevant questions or input of others, then it may function as some other type of organization. This is true of HOAs, condominiums, or cooperative housing. People avoid personal alienation.

For a sale, the seller usually presents the home as part of something greater. The buyer may be attracted to this during the visit or in the disclosure packet. Many home buyers believe that they are buying into an arrangement of mutual support. In a bad situation, later they may suspect that others expect them to pay their assessments, obey the rules and regulations, and support the leaders without burdening them with complaints. What appeared to be a privilege turns out to be mostly an obligation. I do not have a problem with calling these things “community associations” because people ought to aspire to solve problems through sharing and listening together. You may not need a lawyer if you know how to write so your HOA leaders will listen. Sometimes being heard requires a different approach to communication.

To get needs met, the homeowner may need to engage with their association officers, directors, committee members, or managers, or volunteer for a role themselves. This realization may not come until after a significant problem or threat arises that is not easily resolved. Let us consider a hypothetical: The HOA may have altered the landscaping, hardscaping or plants on a common area adjacent to the owner’s home, and now her yard or outdoor space is unusably soggy. The drainage problem may lead to water intrusion inside the home. Upon inquiry, the homeowner learns that the maintenance of the common area was reoccurring HOA agenda item for 2 years. Other homeowners wanted to change the impact of the common area on their own lot. Some wanted to clear out brush for aesthetic reasons. The board and managers do not show great interest in her concerns because they feel that a decision was already reached previously.

If a homeowner is inundated with stormwater and her inquiries are ignored or deflected, then she rightly will feel flooded with concerns about how to solve this problem that impairs the use she envisioned when she bought it. A homeowner is right to believe that the HOA ought not to alter the common area in such a way as to channel stormwater through her backyard. When informally raising this issue, leaders, managers or neighbors may say some off-putting things, such as suggestions that she caused the problem herself. These experiences can be quite alienating.

Where a serious problem is not being adequately addressed, or even acknowledged, some additional efforts must be made for the homeowner to get needs met. Usually this consists of a more formal letter or email directed at the board with a call to action. As an attorney who represents many condominium unit owners and HOA lot owners. I have seen (and written) both successful and unsuccessful demand letters. This blog post is to point out a few do’s and don’ts..

Use an Organized Narrative:

The email must be adequately organized, with an introduction (why am I receiving this), a coherent story that explains why the issue arose, unanswered questions, if any, and a clear “ask.” The most common problem with homeowners’ emails to their HOA leaders is that it is not understandable to someone who was not intimately familiar with the situation. The homeowner may have been talking with someone else to that point. But the reader of the latest email may be ignorant of the situation. This is particularly the case with the association’s attorney or members of the board who are not involved day-to-day.

Many homeowners hope that the HOA’s attorney will look at the situation and advise the board to address the concerns, so as to manage liability and risk. The attorney must understand the story. An escalating letter or email to the HOA ought to be built around a brief storyline. Short paragraphs with useful headings make it easier to read on a cell phone or tablet. Something longer than two pages is likely to be abandoned midway.

Include a Call to Action:

The “ask” or demand must be succinct. Ideally it is apparent at the top of the email and restated towards the end. The issue may be complicated. It is possible that the homeowner may not know why the problem exists or exactly must be done in order to solve it. Even if the demand is a request for an inspection or books and records, it must be readily apparent to a busy, and possibly skeptical reader. “Please restore the swale on the common area to channel water towards the storm drain” is much better than, “My backyard is flooded and your contractor is at fault, so help me.” Both of these things may be true, but the former is much easier to accept.

Be Careful About Personal Attacks:

If a problem is ruining the homeowner’s life, she is being ignored or blamed, and a culprit is identified, it can be easy to view this as something personal. Sometimes, there is an individual malefactor, and it is not possible to discuss the matter without mentioning this person in the facts. In almost all cases, HOA employees, managers or volunteers will stop listening (or go on the offensive) if they receive a letter or email that attacks their honesty, good faith or motivations.

Typically, the director or committee member is in a position of greater influence than the homeowner complaining. The homeowner may have every reason to feel upset. The opportunity in sending a demand by email or letter is the possibility to persuade. If successful, this may avoid the necessity of getting lawyers or courts involved or focus campaigns at the next election. Often a personal attack does not result in mind-changing self-reflection on the party of the attacked person. An attack will be ignored or elicit a personal counterattack.

Emotional Intelligence > Artificial Intelligence:

Do not unduly rely upon artificial intelligence in crafting a letter or email to the HOA or condominium leaders. Programs like ChatGPT are useful, but it does not know what questions are important or what reasons are strongest.

The Board May Include People Who Think In Different Ways:

You may not know whether the board members have the same politics as you, how old they are, or which country, languages, or region they grew up with. They may not agree with each other. Condominium communities are typically more diverse than HOAs. You may write a better letter if you first attend a board meeting or introduced yourself to volunteers.

Trust is Golden, but There is Other Currency:

By the time the homeowner finds himself writing a demand letter to the board of directors, the trust between the parties may already be severely damaged. Everyone wants the important relationships in their life to enjoy a healthy level of mutual trust. If one side expects the other to accept all of their demands as a condition for future trust, the dispute may not be resolved easily. In those situations, sometimes it is more practical to reduce the solution to mutually agreed terms.

Everyone who owns property has rights. Every person ought to be treated with dignity. But social, persuasive people who can control their impulses and connect with strangers have more success. Active listening and effective communication are the organic fibers that are spun into the woven fabric. You may not be able to make your whole HOA into the community you want. But you do have the power to fashion a community around your own family.

When a Lawyer is Needed:

Sometimes, the demand letter to the HOA is not successful, or the homeowner may be reluctant to write it himself. In moments of intense frustration it may not be clear how to write so your HOA leaders will listen. Often, the homeowner needs his own attorney to help him protect himself, his family and investment. This is particularly helpful if the next steps may include potentially acrimonious discussions or the answer to the problem is not readily apparent because it requires additional information or specialized knowledge.

P.S.: Yes, I am familiar with the book, “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen” by Adele Faber and I thought about it when I chose this topic!